Unfiltered Notes

If you’ve found your way here, there’s a solid chance you’re currently wrestling with that heavy, suffocating feeling of not being "enough". Maybe you’ve even been using some pretty harsh words for yourself lately—calling yourself lazy, broken, or a total piece of shit who just can't seem to get it together. First of all, take a fucking breath. That label you’ve been carrying? It’s wrong. You aren't lazy. You’re burned the hell out. And at Maternal Menace, we’re going to talk about what that actually means, because understanding the difference between "slacking" and "survival" changes everything. Burnout is Not Just Being "Tired" Let’s get one thing straight: burnout isn't something a decent night’s sleep or a spa weekend can fix. It’s what happens when your nervous system has been running on emergency power for literal years. Most of us have had our dial stuck on "fight or flight" for so long that we’ve forgotten what ...

You ever read a motivational quote and feel an immediate urge to shut your phone off, fake your own death, and move to a cave.  If “just be disciplined” content makes you feel worse instead of inspired, you’re not broken—you’re traumatized. If motivational content makes you feel worse instead of inspired, congratulations—you’re not broken. You’re traumatized. Motivation Assumes You’re Safe Most motivation advice quietly assumes a regulated nervous system. It assumes your brain feels safe enough to plan, initiate, and follow through on tasks without melting down halfway through. When you add trauma, autism, ADHD, chronic burnout, or years of survival-mode living, that assumption falls apart. Suddenly, starting a simple task feels like pushing a car uphill with a rope while everyone on Instagram yells, “Just try harder!” Survival Mode Doesn’t Care About Goals When your body is in survival mode, it does not care about your 90-day goals, color-coded planner, or “boss babe” dreams. It c...

I didn’t plan to write this book. I wrote it because my brain was actively sabotaging my ability to function, and apparently spite is a powerful motivator. How to Function When Your Brain Actively Hates You exists for one reason: Most advice for “getting your life together” assumes your brain is neutral at worst and helpful at best. Some of mine is neither. This book is not about fixing yourself, optimizing your mornings, or becoming the kind of person who enjoys planners. It’s a survival guide for days when motivation is fake, energy is limited, and doing the bare minimum already feels like an Olympic event. It’s for: -Neurodivergent adults -Burnt-out parents -People with executive dysfunction -Anyone who has been told to “just try harder” and wanted to throw something Inside, you’ll find: -Practical workarounds instead of toxic productivity -Scripts for explaining yourself when words disappear -Permission to function imperfectly without shame -Dark humor, because pretending this is ...

After an unreasonable amount of procrastination, second-guessing, formatting battles, and asking myself “why am I like this,” I finally published No Rest for the Wicked: Nursery Crimes, Volume I. This book is the beginning of my soon-to-be Nursery Crimes series, which exists because someone needed to rewrite classic nursery rhymes for adults who are tired, overstimulated, and one minor inconvenience away from losing it. No Rest for the Wicked is exactly what it sounds like: dark, sarcastic, bedtime-adjacent poetry for people who do not rest, do not relax, and definitely do not sleep peacefully through the night. These are not children’s rhymes. They are for: -Exhausted parents -Burned-out adults -People running on caffeine, spite, and obligation -Anyone who has ever looked at a “sweet” nursery rhyme and thought, this needs more realism This book exists to say what we’re all thinking but usually whisper into pillows at 2 a.m. It took longer than planned to publish because: -Life happene...

We talk a lot about the “Void” here. Usually, it’s the void of sleep, the void of a missing paycheck, or the void of sanity. But this week, I stepped into a new one: the world of ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy. Kaizer is two and a half. He’s tiny, he’s brilliant, and as of last Wednesday, he has a 9-to-5. The Schedule from Hell Let’s look at the math, because apparently, the people designing these programs think toddlers are tiny corporate executives. Kaizer’s schedule looks like this: * 9:00 AM – 1:30 PM: Therapy * 1:30 PM – 3:00 PM: A "break" (a.k.a. when he’s supposed to squeeze in a nap) * 3:00 PM – 5:00 PM: More therapy until his therapist leaves for the day That is roughly 35 to 40 hours a week. For a kid who still takes naps and thinks bubbles are a miracle. Grateful, but… Conflict is Real I want to be honest, open, and real with you guys: I am struggling with how I feel about this. On one hand, I am immensely grateful. Kaizer’s early intervention team has bee...

If you’ve been wondering where the hell I’ve been, welcome to the latest episode of Survival Reality. It’s been a week—no, a month—of absolute madness, but the Maternal Menace is officially back in a space with a front door that doesn't require a key card. The Hotel Exit: A Final Boss Battle Living in a hotel for 2 years is its own special kind of hell (and yes, I’ll be sharing the secrets of how we managed 6 months for free soon—stay tuned). But of course, the universe had to give us one last parting gift. We got our second termination of tenancy and a 3-day move-out notice. Hilariously, this arrived exactly two days before we were planning to leave anyway. But the "manager" decided to add some spice to our final morning. At 7:00 AM, she was banging on our door like the SWAT team, claiming we had until 11:00 AM that day to get out. Spoiler alert: She was a day early. Let’s just say she got a very loud lesson in how to read a calendar and a few 'Choice Words' abou...