The Myth of the Calm Mom

I used to think good moms were calm.

You know the type.

Soft voice.

Clean house.

Matching snack containers.

Meanwhile I'm standing in the kitchen trying to remember if I ate today while my toddler screams like a tiny drunk Viking because I peeled the banana wrong.

Apparently there is a wrong way to peel a banana.

Parenthood is weird like that. You start the day thinking you'll be productive and by noon you're negotiating with a two-year-old about why we don't lick the dog.

And if you're neurodivergent?

Everything is louder.

The lights.

The noise.

The touching.

The constant questions.

Sometimes my brain feels like someone opened 37 browser tabs and every one of them is playing music.

Welcome to overstimulation.

OVERSTIMULATED MOMS ARE STILL GOOD MOMS

Here's something nobody tells you.

You can be overwhelmed and still be a good parent.

Those two things can exist at the same time.

Some days I'm calm, patient, and doing Montessori-level parenting.

Other days I'm eating cold coffee while hiding in the bathroom pretending I need to "check something real quick."

Parenthood is less Pinterest and more survival mode with snacks.

And honestly? That's okay.

MY KID IS LEARNING. I'M LEARNING TOO.

My son has been in ABA for almost three months now. And honestly?

It's kind of like having a nanny some days.

He has structure.

Support.

People helping him practice communication.

And the coolest part?

He's starting to say words.

Little ones.

But they count.

Every time he tries a word, it feels like watching a door open.

BUT… ALSO THE TINY CHAOS GOBLIN PHASE

No one warned me that progress sometimes comes with extra chaos.

Lately he's been testing boundaries like a tiny lawyer who just discovered objections.

Throwing things.

Hitting sometimes.

Full dramatic meltdowns.

And then five minutes later he's hugging me like nothing happened.

Ah yes.

The terrible twos.

Or as I like to call it:

tiny emotional terrorism.

PARENTING ISN'T A PERFORMANCE

Social media shows you curated motherhood.

Cute outfits.

Healthy lunches.

Peaceful mornings.

Real life?

Your kid might be wearing a dinosaur costume while eating goldfish crackers off the floor.

You're overstimulated.

The house is messy.

And you still show up.

That's parenting.

Not perfection.

Just showing up again tomorrow.

Read my next blog post about my latest book coming soon!— How to Parent When You're Also Overstimulated: Staying regulated when you & your kid are both melting down. 2nd book to my new Overstimulated series. (#1 is How to Function When Your Brain Actively Hates You)